I lost a friend this week.......... thankfully.
She had struggled with ovarian cancer over the past 5 years, which spread everywhere, then lastly into her spine.
I wasn't alone in wishing an end to her suffering and can only hope that she was so morphined up, that she had no pain and was largely unaware of where she was.
Because I know how she would have hated, if she was at all aware, this final indignity, with no control over what was happening to her, in hospice and hospital care.
She didnt much like being the centre of attention at the best of times and here she was confined to bed, with her supportive family and partner awaiting the enevitable, around her.
She hated hospitals and the chemical treatments that we force into our bodies, prefering the alternative routes when possible.
A patient friend she made on her journey, had died of the chemo treatment itself, not her cancer.......
....so when Sue herself took a stand and said, no more chemo.......it was at a stage when chemo might have prolonged her life for a while, but would never have been able to stop the disease itself from its spreading.
The cloth had been cut as it were, already.
She chose to take back control for as long as possible and would only relinquish that, come the end.
We had formed a cat rescue group together having previously worked alongside eachother, rescuing and caring for strays with another much larger group.
She was an opinionated, sometimes arrogant, highly intelligent, smart arse, who suffered fools badly but could be tact personified if needs be.
She had a tongue on her that could whittle anyone down to size and yet rarely needed to use it, because her obvious strength of character carried such impact that words were rarely needed .... lol ....
besides which, she could give a look that could wither if needs be and would not speak to someone for weeks on end till they submitted ! lol
I respected her, admired her courage during this period, whilst she lived with cancer.........rather than, was dyeing of cancer.
She taught me there is a difference there.
Ive been watching her waste away for these last years yet now that she has been spared more pain, its doesnt make it any easier, knowing she is gone.
We were not religeous, spiritual yes, but I know if shes anywhere beyond our hearts and memories, she will have already found a stray cat or dog, I know that for a fact.............. rest in peace at last pal x